This! Is! Funny!

"Coughs and Sneezes Spread Diseases - As ...

Hiccups, Coughs and Torture All in One

“Whatever you say goes back to you” is a stupid, childish phrase that I hate to repeat, yet I can’t think of a more fitting sentance to describe what just happened to me moments ago.

 

I was eating supper with my brothers (pizza, actually!) and we were discussing torture methods, such as tying up a guys arms, legs and mouth and passing his favorite hot food under his nose for three seconds, then leaving for 24 hours, before repeating the process.

Somehow, our conversation switched to riddles and I repeated this one I heard a few weeks ago:

“Bob is walking through the desert, when suddenly he needs a drink. He walks into the nearest bar, and asks for a drink of water. The bartender pulls out a gun, holds it up, and scares Bob. Bob says thanks, and leaves” Obvious question; what is going on here?

Well, my brothers tried guessing various things; water gun, what’s a bar doing in the desert, etc, etc, but to no avail. Meanwhile, I filled my mother in on my day, crazy application story, how I tried to buy a phone off of craigslist from some druggie, you know, the usual.

 

Suddenly, I coughed on my water (can’t remember why) splurted it out over my pizza, backwashed it into my cup, and caught the remaining leaks in my hand. Awkward, and I don’t think I’ve done that since I was three.

As I was alternating coughing and laughing, I said, “OH, NO! I hope I don’t get the hiccups!” You see, when I cough a lot, I get the hic-hiccups.

My body did not fail me this time. DANG! My brothers cracked up, because of course, “I hope I don’t hic!…” sounds pretty funny. So there I was hiccuping for all I was worth, and it’s a lot, let me tell you that, when I suddenly thought of the riddle.

“That’s the answer, by the way!” I said, “Bob has the hiccups. He needs a drink- to stop the hiccups, and the bartender scares them out of him by holding up a gun”

We all cracked up, because who says a hiccup riddle and gets the hiccups? We then discussed hiccup-removal methods, and if water, thinking of giraffes, or being scared works. My 13 year old brother gave a little “ROAR” but I just raised my eyebrows. And made a cute little “hic!”

Then I went to tell my mom the riddle’s answer (my misfortunate plight) and my little brother kept bugging me until I turned and barked/hiccuped, “WHAT?”

“I wanna show you something” he said. It immediatly entered my mind that 13 year old brother was hiding behind the staircase, ready to jump at me and scare the hiccups out of me, but I followed, still talking to my mother.

Just as I took a breath in to cough, my mother moved away from where she was standing and my brother jumped out from the bathroom entance- NOT where I had been expecting him to come from at ALL- and he yelled

“RAHHHHHH!” I screamed almost as loud as him, mid-cough, so it sounded worse, and LITERALLY jumped in the air. After I had finished gasping and laughing…I realized my hiccups were gone. GONE! It works! He scared the “hic” outta me!

Though he didn’t hold me up with a gun, well, my brother jumping out of the wall is nearly as scary, and so, what I had spoken about before all came straight back to me.

So, my dear children, watch what you say…but don’t come running to me if you’ve been discussing Mercedes and iPhones and they haven’t appeared. I’ll just tie you up and wave some pizza under your nose…heh heh heh…

Anyways, I know I’ve been neglecting you, bloggie, but that’s because I started a new one, just between me and some friends…but I haven’t been keeping that one going either! Oh, well…

Keep UNraveling!

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Suri
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 11:30:46

    Hehe, that made my dad.

    By the way, why’d the chicken cross the road?

    Reply

  2. Suri
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 11:32:57

    *day
    Made my day

    Stoopid typos… XD

    Reply

  3. goodlookin
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 16:08:29

    Love. I’ve always wanted to be scared out of my hics! that joke brings back good memories… 😉

    Reply

  4. sillymexox0
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 22:19:07

    Haha, that made me smile. 🙂
    Lovin it 🙂

    Reply

  5. Karma
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 12:26:05

    That is pretty funny:) Thanks for bringing my day a smile!

    Reply

  6. nousername
    Jan 22, 2012 @ 01:33:46

    lol what were the odds! 😀

    Reply

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