Midnight Rambles; Raving Mad

01 07 11 Tardis bag rides again

Image by Kikishua via Flickr

I’m flossing my teeth as I type these words when my cell phone rings.

Quickly tapping “answer”, I use my elbow to adjust the phone into the nook of my shoulder.

“Hey,” I say, continuing to type.

“Hey, you, what’s UP?” A voice exclaims. “I’ve been trying your house phone; no one ever picks up!”

I snort. “Duh. What do you expect? Why did you call my house, anyways?”

“Well, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you- I don’t have your cell number! It’s getting ridiculous, you know?”

“Are you serious?” I nearly drop my floss. My attention is now completely undivided. “I thought I texted it to you ages ago!”

“Yeah, to my old number. Couldn’t transfer contacts…long story. So, can I have your number?”

“Of course!” I proceed to tell her my number, make her swear to text me, and then ring off.

Back to this blog. Oh, I love writing!

Wait, I hear something. My mom is coming up the stairs. There’s a knock on my door and a moment later I hear her voice say,

“Come in”.

My mother enters wearily. “What are you up to, sweetie?”

“Oh, just blogging.” I respond, throwing my string of floss into the garbage.

“There’s no liner in there, you know.” My mom comments.

“I know. I forget to put one in, and then when the can is full, I have to transfer the garbage into a clean liner, then get another clean one to use for the future…I hate wasting trash liners.”

“Oh, I get it.” My mom looks tired. “Listen, there’s a lady outside who wants to speak with you.”

“Really?” I look out my window. Sure enough, there she is.

I head outside, thoughts flying through my head. Who can this be?

“Hello, I’m B.B.” She extends her hand expectantly.

“Oh, I don’t shake” I respond, looking her up and down.

Her arms are crossed over her chest confidently, as are all of her legs. She seems to have just taken her hair out of curlers; it’s all stiff and poofy; manufactured curls.

“I never heard of such a thing. WELL!” she harrumphs. “How old are you, girl?”

“Uh, 16?”

“Hmmph. You look kind of young for your age. Listen, you ever been to the South Side?”

“Ah…” I try to think. Her perfume is intoxicating…and not exactly in the way you’re thinking of.

“OH!” I exclaim, as a wave of oxygen from a slight breeze enters my brain and causes it to move. “Yeah, I’ve been to the South Side. I spent a month there one night.”

B.B. smiles. “Perfect.” She shows her pearly blacks.

“I’m looking to hire a chick like yourself…care to make some quick cash?”

“Care of myself, heck yeah!”

She smiles again. “Just what I thought. Come with me.”

I look at her car. “never ride with strangers” flashes through my brain.

“What was that light?” She asks, alarmed.

“Hmm?” I’m puzzled.

“This light just, like, flashed through your head” she says, confused.

I raise my eyebrows, then tell her I’d rather not accompany her to the South Side.

“Hmmph. Well, I never.” She mutters.

“Yep.” I grin. “And don’t ever…nope, not ever.”

I’m back inside before the echo of her slammed car door reverberates through the air.

Back at my desk, I read a text from my friend. A different one, this time.

“Did you see that picture of us? I’m too tall for everyone!”

She’s the shortest of all of us. ur tall asa tree….stump: )

I text her back.

She cracks up. She has the cutest laugh, my friend. I giggle along with her.

A few moments later, I hear the house phone ring, and, wondering if it’s my friend, I rush to get it.

I’m halfway down the stairs when my cell phone, back upstairs, starts to harmonize.

I turn, take a step up, but think, “No, get the house phone!”

So I take a step back down. My brain hasn’t proccessed which I want to do, and I am see-sawing between the two steps, which isn’t safe, in case you weren’t aware. I trip and land on my butt.

Frustrated, I swipe off the dirt and stand up to silence. The phones have stopped ringing. Great.

Then applause breaks out as the audience screams with laughter, shouting my name, with tears streaming down their faces.

I head back up to my room.

What a day.

 

 

 

Keep UNraveling!

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Tree Leaves, Pep Talks and No More Self Pity

(no, it’s not tea leaves, it’s TREE leaves…just saying 🙂 )

“ENOUGH of those MELANCHOLY posts!” I said. “I will turn over a NEW leaf; I will bring a ray of SUNSHINE into my life! Because it is through no fault but my own that my life has taken a turn for the worse! DO YOU UNDERSTAND??!?!?!”

Ah. Because, as I’ve said countless times, I have been stressed. And reading my blog has probably been boring for you. Seriously, who wants to slog through three thousand complaints about why some girls life SUCKS??

Like, who cares if my two closest friends and one closest sister are in Israel for a year?
Who cares that my social life has suddenly turned into a risky, stressful obstacle course, who cares that family life has changed drastically, that the creepiest guy texted me and freaked me out, that my other close friend is moving to Seattle, that these art classes are giving me a great education in street language, maybe, but not in art, that I was placed in an ALGEBRA I class for G-d’s sake, embarrassingly enough because it would be “great to catch up on it for Algebra II…”  despite the fact that I haven’t seen this stuff since ninth grade, so of course I don’t remember it, no.
Who cares that the weather is turning colder, bringing my down, that my job is…something unpleasant at times, and that I am such a hormonal, grouchy teen with mood swings that are scarier than a still, moonless night…

WHOO CARES??????????? Not you. Not you. Not I, said the Cat.

Well, cat. Not I either.

It’s time to move on.

My summer kinda sucked, I mean, I had a few vacations and three small, random but great jobs, but it was boring for the most part.

So? So, now my year has to suck?NO! This is senior year! (This is a pep-talk, actually. Just ignore me till I’m through with myself…)

 

So, I DO NOT! Repeat after me! (Sir, yes sir!)

I DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A LOUSY YEAR!

I WILL NOT HAVE A LOUSY YEAR!

YAY! 

NOW DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME 40! (chocolate bars, I meant. 40 of them. Ahh…..heres to a GREAT year!)

Wow I just accidentally deleted all that and then restored it.

Here’s to locking the mousepad on my Dad’s laptop, more like 🙂 (THAT was a story of my life moment. Anyways…)

Anyways, I hear the glorious sounds of hammers banging…my neighbors like to build their Succah early.

We get ours up two days before Succos. Hah.

Happiness is OOOOZZZINGGG out of me…it’s actually a pretty sight.

I had a great time with my girls today, who joined me for nearly TWO HOURS at our Tzniyus Group! Go Tzniyus Groupies!!!!! Us Elite Members had a great time discussing the Duggar family, clothes, shoes, and toes, knee replacement surgery and PLENTY of other subjects that were ACTUALLY related to tzniyus, which means modesty, for those of you that didn’t know that.

In which case you might want to join the club. Literally. ha ha.

I missed my creepy crazy humor on this here blog. Good to have you back, humor.

I got your back.

I also got in pajamas already.

And now I’m gonna surf this net and find cute clothes for me to BLOW my money on…

Fall is here! Can’t wait to jump into those leaves!

Just saying, I still miss my friends and stuff, but it’s kinda gonna be like WINTER for me.

Up until now, I’ve been that tree with leaves on it all summer, swaying in the breeze, having a good time, or bored, standing still in the muggy heat.

Now it is fall, so the leaves are turning colors, things are changing. And eventually, I’ll learn to live without these leaves as they fall to the ground, and I’ll go through winter. Sure, it might be cold at times, and it’s gonna feel weird to be so bare, so naked.

 

 

Four Seasons - Longbridge Road

Image by joiseyshowaa via Flickr

But I’ll get through it, this growing process, and spring will come, the way it always does. And I’ll be blossoming (lol that was an overused one today…) and I’ll have grown, and changed, and before I know it, it will be summer again, and they’ll all be back, and life will be great, and the leaves will rustle in the breeze once more! I know it’s a never-ending cycle, but it’s gratifying to know that there will be good times, despite the bad.

And yes, I did just call myself a tree. Hugs, anyone?

Keep UNraveling!

The Ramble 23

Love

Image by aftab. via Flickr

“He loves me, He loves me NOT, He loves me, He loves me NOT…”

Somedays life can be painful, and we feel like G-d doesn’t love us. But He does. He loves us, no matter what.

Just saying.

Today was one of those days, where, thank G-d, I felt like He was smiling down at me in an open way.

I went to bed at two in the morning Tues night, so getting up at 8:15 did NOT make me smile, nor did hearing Uncle Moishy’s “And the mess grew bigger, every single day, the mess grew bigger, it wouldn’t stop growing, and the mess grew bigger…” song being blasted by my four year old brother.

At 8:15 in the morning. In case that detail slipped you up. Which, by the way, is pretty early for mere mortals (teen mortals) like myself.

Anyways, I had a babysitting job, which ended near 11.

Once home, I did a bunch of random, mundane things, such as eating, reading, going on a bike ride for less than twenty minutes due to two (TWO) flat tires, and then I came home in time for my next job…same client, different time. Different place too; it was at my house.

I needed a shower, so I payed my eight year old brother $4 to watch the kid. Seeing as my wage is $9 per hour, I didn’t think it would hurt my purse too much…what’s a free five bucks, after all? 🙂

(And no, I did not realize that I’d be making the excess money, I simply offered a reasonable rate for an eight year old and dealt with the [fortunate] results later 🙂 )

(Continued Thursday)

I then had to leave for my 2:15-4:30 job, which overlapped my previous one, and I left my little brother in charge of handing the charge over to his mom.

I babysat and then came home, hung around, got things done and went to visit my moving-to-seattle friend. I don’t recall much of yesterday, and had to run while typing this which is why I’m finishing it up now.

I started my math course today and took the first test. It’s a placement test and I’m pretty sure I got all but one answered correctly.

Anyways, had an interesting day today; I slept in till noon, davened, ate, and ran to work which was amazingly easy.

I got home, talked to my sister, burst into tears for reasons I cannot say because I do not know, and then found reasons to be mad at people.

I think I’m really stressed out, which makes sense, given all the circumstances.

Then I read a reallly good book, ate, did the test and messed around on the Internet, and now here I am.

With a headache, so I’m gonna say goodbye!

Keep UNraveling!

 

You’ve Been Through Class, Now Here’s the Test

I sometimes feel that I wasn’t prepared well enough for life.

Sure, the nine months in the womb were probably helpful in certain ways, but I’m referring to other things, as I’m sure you have figured out.

There are those awkward social moments, for example, where I just don’t know what to say, and a quick review of academic learning brings up nothing but historical wars and other painful situations between humans, none of which seem appropriate, for the most part.

There are people who walk in and out of my life, but sometimes the “in” part is so startling, alarming, or just plain surprising that  I simply don’t know what to do. You know those people; unwanted, came at the wrong time, whatever it is, that’s them.

There are emotional moments, where I feel alone, grasping at straws that are in every 7-11 in the world, but none strong enough to support my tears.

There are physical moments, broken bones, bruised limbs, pain that no one ever taught me what to do with.

And there are plenty of other things, of course, times that are so unique, so confusing and twisting in their own way, that no one could ever possibly prepare me for.

I found the following on Dr. Ben Kim’s website, drbenkim ‘dot’ com.

“…Children are coached on how to jump through a thousand scholastic hoops. Yet by far the most important decisions they will make are about whom to marry and whom to befriend, what to love and what to despise, and how to control impulses. On these matters, they are almost entirely on their own.

We are good at teaching technical skills, but when it comes to the most important things, like character, we have almost nothing to say.”

– The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement

Although  in Orthodox Judaism, the Torah guides us regarding character and many other things I still feel that that article has a large, painful point.

Sometimes I am just so confused, so lost, wandering through painful scenarios that I have no idea how to handle, and a little guidance would be helpful. Do you know what I mean?

Don’t any of you feel this way sometimes, just treading water, trying to figure out where the heck the shoreline disappeared to?

This happens all the time to me, and sometimes the only thing I can do is wait it out, until salvation arrives, in wahtever form it chooses to take on…

Keep UNraveling!

SEPTEMBER!

“We went to the beach! Not just any beach, mind you, but my mom’s friend who lives on a lake house…omg. They had kayaks, jet skis, a motor boat with a tube and of course, the good old sand and water…”

“Gosh, traveling is not as cool as some people think it may be. Although it is fascinating to notice that all the guys on Delta flights have this problem…they can’t keep their hands off of women’s luggage! Any time a chick is putting up or taking down heavy luggage, the guys are like dogs at the end of a leash, doing whatever they can to control themselves, but it doesn’t work, ever, and they end up helping the poor girl out…”

“Ohmygosh I threw up thirteen times in one day!!!!!!….”

“I was in Vail, Colorado last week, which has a bit of an altitude problem, making it hard for us mere mortals from Michigan to breath properly. A sign in a tourist shop said it so perfectly: ‘This town is HIGH’…”

“Although so many people are talking sadly about summer’s end, and then switching their outlook by saying, ‘Well, at least we have fall’, my family decided to take a firm stance and enjoy the last days of summer by going Up North…”

“I’m sitting here in my bed, depressed as anything, because my older, oldest and only a year apart sister left to Israel, and my best friend of over four years and my super-close friend of over ten years both joined her…”

 

These few sentences are all openings to blog posts that have been floating around in my head all summer.

I know I told you about my lack of internet, so I’m using my dad’s laptop to get around the ridiculous problem. Oh, and it works in my room, but my computer doesn’t. WTH?

Anyways, I never did get around to posting half of the things I wanted to, nor will I ever, I bet, but rest assured, those things all did happen and now here I am with summer over, memories packed away, not too far away, but firmly enough that I can hopefully focus on this school year.

My little sister and brother started school today; my older sister (and two close friends) left for Israel on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, respectively; my brother is in high school in Virginia, so it’s an almost empty house.

Actually, there’s me and four boys, two girls at home, which is seven, but like I said, two ARE in school all day, bringing the large family of nine to less than half its usual amount…it’s nice. 🙂

I have sort of entered my school year routine, working out, davening, showering and eating in the morning, going to babysit for two hours in the afternoon.

I plan on starting an art course tomorrow, and signing up for high school math. Community college is being pushed off until January.

Anyways, that’s a small piece of my life, and oh, to rub it in, one of my good homeschooled buddies is moving to Seattle in about two weeks, which is just great. THis town is now officially bereft of any friends of mine…well, there’s still a few, actually. 🙂

Keep UNraveling!

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