Horrible Horribleness

If you never saw a chipmunk typing, then you should look at me now. It’s a day after I got my wisdom teeth pulled, and I never felt better, at least, compared to how I felt yesterday.

I had a slightly traumatizing experience. This post is dedicated for those of you that have been through this horrible excavation process, and for those of you who are nervously awaiting their turn.

I told everyone that my appointment was on Sunday, and I was pretty nervous. Although at least five people I knew had recently had the procedure done, nobody gave me the gory details; they all just murmured vague words of reassurance and sympathy.

So when I lay down on that dentist chair, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Boy, did I get more than I thought I would. The oral surgeon put numbing gel on my smooth gums, right above where the criminal teeth were hiding. He then gave me about six billion shots, some on the upper and some on the lower gums.

I was getting all four teeth pulled and none of them had yet grown in. The shots were the anasthesia or whatever it is in there that numbs the pain. Some people get put to sleep, and I kind of wish I had but my mom said it’s safer this way.

After the shots, my heart started beating really fast and I found it hard to breathe. I was shaking alot but I tried to hide it. The oral surgeon asked how I was doing, and I said OK because I didn’t want to seem paranoid, but when he had left the room, I decided to ask if it was normal, because I was really scared.

I asked my hygenist, and she said it was quite normal, seeing as there is adrenaline in the shot, and I should just “breathe calmly”. Well, anyone who’s ever had adrenaline coursing through their veins knows that breathing calmly doesn’t happen so easily, but I tried. 

After I was totally numb, the oral surgeon began the yanking process. First he excavated my mouth, then he brought in a bulldozer to clean out the dirt and rocks…yup, one big construction project.

Half the time I tried to watch through the reflection of his safety goggles and half the time I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I reminded myself to stay calm, after all, having children is supposed to be way worse, and if I want to survive that one day, G-d willing, then I can’t let this get me down.

And so I breathed, in through the nose for five, out of the mouth for seven….and again….try and swallow, and breathe. My tongue felt like… like one big galumph inside my numb mouth and I was still able to feel what he was doing because of the pressure.

The pressure got way worse after the first tooth, which came out easily. He had told me that my teeth should come out quickly, just like my sisters’ had. Unfortunately, he was right about that in regard to one tooth, and one tooth only.

 The next three teeth he tried to take out didn’t want to cooperate and it really hurt!

I was cursing like CRAZY in my head, and at one point I moaned out loud and nearly cried. He could tell when I was in pain, because I had my forehead all screwed up, and then I would remind my self to relax again…

I felt kind of bad for him, because he kept trying and trying and shaking his head and trying again. He had to break one of my teeth up into pieces and yank it out with many different tools. He used some type of drill thingy to increase the pain I was in even more. Evil, no?

After it would really hurt, I would say to myself, “There, now. That wasn’t so bad, was it? It really was not, and besides, it’s over now.” That line comes from Curious George, ha ha. Too bad I was lying, though.

He finally, finally got out the remaining teeth, and after much pain and prayer, I was done.

I had been holding in my pee at the end, shaking my foot so the lamp attatched to chair was vibrating 🙂 and was able to go finally, once all the stitches were in. I took one look at myself in the bathroom mirror and nearly cried.

I swear I looked like I had mental problems; my cheeks were the size of Mt. Everest, though not nearly as cool,  and my mouth was shut but twisted bec of the numbness so it wasnt closing properly. That was the scariest part; my mouth wouldn’t shut normally.

I hid behind ice packs the whole way home. It barely hurt then, and I was singing. My mom told me that the oral surgeon told her that the x-rays fooled him, and that it looked way easier to yank than it actually was…

No, really?

Later, on the couch, I started drooling blood. No fun. I couldn’t feel my mouth, so I couldn’t quite swallow.

I changed the gauze pads that were stuffed in there,  tried to swallow a pill but couldnt because of big fat galumph tingly tounge and then the pain was too much so I just forced it down anyways.

I put black tea bags instead of gauze pads for an hour and I think I will always hate the flavor of that tea- it will always taste like blood to me. Yuck. Then I lay down in bed for an hour-they dont let you spit so I drooled into tissues- put the ice on for twenty minutes and off for twenty, and listened to my ipod. I dozed and then I woke up to change the tea bags. As soon as I got out of bed I felt really naseous from all the blood I’d been swallowing and I was panting and crying and it started to hurt so, soooo much. You see, even when I was numb the excavation site was still killing, but now all the numbness was gone, so guess what? It hurt more! Anyways, I cried some more and then just sat.

When I got up, I was feeling really dizzy, and when I went downstairs I nearly blacked out. I took lots of water and apple sauce, and my mom made me a scrambled egg with rice, that had to cool for ten minutes because I wasn’t allowed to eat hot foods.

I read a great book on my sister’s computer for most of the day, and took painkiller before I went to sleep. My friends broght me a slurpee- thanks, guys, but I can’t use a straw- and then I went to bed.

I slept from 12:30 until 11:30 and woke up feeling sore and bloated. I was scared to see myself in the mirror, but it wasn’t soo bad. My cheeks are massivley swollen and hugely heavy, with slight bruises coming onto them. I can talk a little, and eat a little more than yesterday.

Anyways, hopefully I’ll be feeling even better by tomorrow. Here’s a list of things nobody told me, that I want to share with people who are getting there STUPID TEETH out…lol.


MAKE SURE TO GET SLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE, because you ain’t gonna sleep much through all that pain. My mom said I should get to bed early, so I fell asleep at 3 a.m. and regretted it the whole day. Mothers are ALWAYS right, so…


Make sure to eat and drink before you go, unless you’re getting knocked out and they tell you not to. Duh. But you really don’t want to dehydrate or black out like I almost did.

Bring a pen and paper or something to write with, because with five pounds of blood and gauze in your numb, swollen mouth, your mom won’t be able to understand you unless you do what I did:

“I oo eye a FEEEE!” (I look like a FREEEAK!) while demonstrating a crazy dance. She though I said I was dizzy and got all scared…

If you use homeopathic, take Arnica Montana before and after, because it works great with bruising. I didn’t have any, but someone else had great results.

Put ice on right away, and keep it on the whole day, or you’ll look like a chipmunk and regret it. My friend made the mistake of no ice and warned me, so I used it but not for the whole day. Seriously, you’re gonna suffer enough without having to look horrible as well.

Don’t even think about planning stuff for that day. It really is surgery, and if your teeth aren’t gonna cooperate, then it’ll be surgery from hell. No joke.

You’re gonna be bored, so get some movies, or a good book. Make sure your iPod is charged; mine wasn’t, and make sure you have a phone to text- I lost mine. Great timing, no?

Follow all the instructions that they give you, don’t spit or use a straw or drink hot things. Take your medicine. Ask for extra guaze, have a whole box of tissues at your side, and a garbage can. Just warning you, you’re gonna need it all.

You can’t sleep on your sides. Just stiff and straight, looking up at the ceiling. Fun.

GOOD LUCK! Make sure to breathe deep and remember, it’ll all be over soon! Hope you now have a little more preparation than I did! Comment if you have any questions!

Keep UNraveling!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. loser
    Aug 11, 2011 @ 23:35:38

    That’s cruel, not letting you spit. Cruuuueeel.

    What was the book you were reading?

    Thanks for the tips!


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