This Should Qualify As A Ramble, BUT…

Wow, I sure did miss all of you! This is one of my greatest moments, starting a new blog post.
I see fresh, crisp white pages lying like glistening snow, unblazed and undiscovered.
All it takes is one word, one little footstep, and then another, and before I know it, there is a whole path, which is hopefully going to lead to somewhere important.
Ah, man’s journey into the Great Unknown.
Which reminds me, speaking of journeys, I plan on taking a very special one this weekend, G-d willing.

Yep, folks, this unravelmythoughts chick is…..GETTING ENGAGED!!!!

Just kidding. Seriously, *hits self on head (ouch)* where did that come from? Ok, no, straight up this time; I’m going to New Jersey for the weekend! Yay!

Me and my friend and some other people and her sister and her husband are driving in for a retreat, a spiritual convention of sorts, which will take place in a hotel.

And my suitcase is only 1/28th full. This is sooo stressful. I don’t know what to bring, what to wear there, becasue I have to decide which image I want to portray of myself, I mean, you know how it goes at these things! Image is everything!
Sigh. I really don’t know who I should pretend to be. I mean, I can try and be the preppy-Manhattan or the L.A. Bohemian. I can do a weird twist of “just out of seminary” meets “future fashion designer” or I can do my little casual careless routine. You know, jean/sweatshirt combo?

Hmmmm….the possibilities are endless!

Of course, there’s always the option of being myself.

Shoot, did you really think I spent more time pondering the above dilemma than it takes to type those words?

Gosh. Seriously, you know me better by now!

But I seriously do have Packing-itis. Which is OK, because that’s part of being me.

Whatever. (That word always, you know, resolves things.)

I’m wondering, rather randomly, if fur is in style now? Anyone know? I think I’ve seen it around alot, not that I’m considering stalking down my block in a fox fur coat or something; I am SOOOO not a victim of fashion. (Yeah right, *snort*).

But I know that leather is very in, and I was just curious about fur. Though the two make a hideous combination.

On to more important matters, like the fact that I have one gorgeously waxed leg and one-ehem, adjective will remain unsaid- unwaxed leg. So I need to wax the unwaxed leg.
That may sound logical, and it is. But emotions and logic clash, as feelings and thoughts always do.
Pain is an emotion, right? Maybe fur really is in style? Ewwwww! I can’t believe I just wrote that! How gruesome. Should I delete it?
I will reread that. Naw, it’s too funny to delete. Now that I told you about my waxing routine, you can see a good thing about me as well; I am very funny!

*Pounds chest like a gorrilla* Ahh-hhh-h-hhhh! (Oh, gosh, gorrilla? LOL!)

Well, anyways, to make a long, tangled story as short and smooth and bald as possible, I really have to cause myself some more pain. I didn’t cry on the other leg but who says I have established a pattern?

And I really need to work out. My legs are gonna look so good after this! Hah.
All this, of course, explains why I am on my blog right now. As one of my favorite quotes so subtly puts it, “Procrastinators Unite!- Tomorrow!”

Yeah, that’s me. I’m a procrastinator. It’s a really long story. I’ll- you know what, I’ll tell you about it some other time, OK?

Heh heh. I just crack myself up. So why is it that if you were watching me type, you would see a girl with one smooth, hairless leg and one just the opposite, slumped on her chair- in between sitting and lying down- with a look that couldn’t defy boredom if it tried?

Or maybe I just look tired? Serioulsy, I’m typing with my eyes closed now! Funny how I close my eyes just to type that sentance! Hah! I just smiled!

Wha-hoooo! *dances around the room- just kidding, of course, I’m still sitting here*.

I smiled again at that one. K, good. Now I’m happy. So why would I purposely kill my good mood by causing pain to myself, hence making myself sad?

Shut up. Seriously, this has got to happen sooner or later. I am very good at waxing. I can do it so fast and so efficiently that you won’t know what happened. I am think ing of opening a salon. Maybe in the basement of my grammas house. She lives next door to me, not exactly on the right, more behind and to the left, if you know what  mean.
I would rather make money causing others pain, than cause myself pain for free. I would charge $35 for a pair of lower legs, but I would only do one. I think I like this idea alot. I am very good at waxing, after all.
I am also a very good liar. In fact, I am a pathological liar. Do you believe me?

Keep UNraveling!


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