The Prank

Yeah, yeah, I’ll admit it. It’s wrong; it’s bad, and it’s hilarious. So, if pranks offend you, just do me a favor and stop reading. Because I don’t intend to offend you…unless I’m pranking you! I was bored, so I found a number in my phone to prank. It happened to be the number for ZapZone, an awesome laser tag/arcade place.  Here’s the conversation, enjoy, and comment!

 

Ding a ling a ling. (HAD to write that!!)

“Zapzone, how can I help you?” A pleasant male voice picks up
“Yes, Hi, is this ZapZone?” I speak like an aged smoker, but still a woman. My voice is gruff, and druggy.
“Yes, it is, blah blah blah” Obviously he said something different but I can’t remember…
“So, what do you have?”
“Huh?”
“You know, what’s at ZapZone?”
“Oh” He proceeds to list about 10 things.
“Can you repeat the last four?”
“Well, I’ll repeat them all because I don’t remember what the last four were. They are, laser tag, bumper cars, arcade….moon bounces….etc.”
“Yes, about the laser tag.” My voice sounds mean. Like an old hag.
“Yes?” Still pleasant.
“Do you have statistics?” I shoot at him.
“Sure, after the game we show the players the score, and who won and how many people they shot…” I am surprised, because I thought that he would be stunned by my question, but he had an answer for me.
“What’s the injury statistics?” I specify.
“Oh, those are very low.” He assures me. “People rarely get hurt. You know, it’s pretty safe, no one has ever gotten seriously hurt.”
“But how many people have gotten killed?” I ask, determined to get on his nerves.
“Oh, no one ever got killed. I mean, unless someone was having a very bad day, there’s no chance of being murdered.”
“But that’s dangerous! I mean, I wanted to have a party at your place- you do do parties, right”
“Oh, yeah, of course”
“Well, how can I have a party if people can get killed?!”
“Oh, they don’t get killed.”
“But lasers are very strong! I just read online yesterday about someone who got killed with a laser gun!”
He proceeds to explain that they use a very gentle laser beam that can’t change its power, etc. etc. I space out for a good ten minutes 🙂 Then, when he is done, I resume.
“I don’t understand, though; what if someone had a bad day? It’s not safe to have a party if someone gets killed, is it?”
“Nooo, but no one gets killed. It’s fine.”
“OK, if you say so… Oh, what  about the moon bounces? What would happen if they deflated suddenly?”
“Then…the kids would stop jumping?”
“But don’t they bump their heads on the floor or something?”
Clunk. He hung up. I decide to call back and say it’s a prank, ha ha, and I love you Zapzone, but at the last minute, when he picks up and says, “Zapzone, how can I help you?” I say,
“Yes, I think we got disconnected”, in the same voice I had used before.
“Oh, sorry about that” He lies, “I couldn’t hear what you said and it got all fuzzy in the background…” He was totally covering up to look good.
At that second, I had to go, so I said in my regular voice, “That was just a prank! I love you, Zapzone!” There’s a pause, and over the loud music and voices he says,
“Listen, I’m going to give the phone to my manager. He might be able to help you” So, freaked out about such a high, authoritative person communicating with me (I can’t prank him!) I hang up. And that is the end of the Zapzone prank.

Two things- You had to have been there, because it was way funnier to hear me live and broadcasting than to read about it, and also that I modified it slightly to fit your screen. Heh heh. Hope you enjoyed, and once again, feel free to comment. Also, I would reccomend, for those who love to be enlightened by losers like me who prank others, to check out mojointhemorning.com where Spike scams countless of helpless victims. Those scams offer hours of pure comedy. Assuming you’re interested. But be careful, don’t get too hoodwinked or you’ll end up like me.
Keep UNraveling!

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ellbrbee
    Jun 01, 2010 @ 23:32:57

    hahaha. do me a favor and never prank me! You are hilarious but I would not want to be at the butt end of it if you know what I mean. You probably almost made that guy commit murder over the phone. Mwahhaha. That toatally cracks me up!

    Reply

  2. goodlookin'
    Jun 02, 2010 @ 09:34:54

    why does this sound so familiar…

    Reply

  3. Susan J. Flyweel
    Jun 10, 2010 @ 06:47:42

    It sounds like something I would do if I had the guts.

    Reply

  4. loser
    Jun 14, 2010 @ 06:13:43

    Ha ha, that sounds like fun! My prank calling history consists of…well, perhaps I shouldn’t publicize it to the whole world. If you really want to know, Ren, you could e-mail me. (This is Bracha Kahn, if you didn’t know.)

    Reply

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