The Last Post-Or Not

Hey so i gotta make this really fast.

My thumb hurts; I busted it trying to open my suitcase. I might say ouch occassionaly.

So my last day in Manhattan basicall I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I thought it was free ouch sorry but it wasnt so i had all this hard time getting in if u cant pay they ask you to give a donation i didn thave my wallet but i offered to donate my shirt hte lady laffed a different lady gave me two dimes i was soo embarrassed some guy offered me a 20 bill i shuda taken it i was like no thanks sdont waste ur money he sed its not a waste ev1 shud get to go in i sed yes but if i can get in on 2 dimes its a waste to pay more

still i shuda taken it. darn. ah well.
So the museum was nice, very cool

Gotta make this really short sorry

Then I went to central park.

Then I decided i wanted to go to monsey. SO i rushed like a crazy woman and made the bus and i went in.

I got there. ta da.

I was here for shabos. Its great to see my granparents and my aunt again. Of course, Im only saying that because my aunt is sitting right next to me. But its still great. Not that she noticed what I just typed. LOL.

Hee hee i am silently cracking up. OK

So i got my new LG Rumor Touch phone very exciting and i hav unlimited texting for a month.

Im i”H going to the colony tomorrow so I prob wont be able to update this babe for a month. SOb sob.

Ill miss yall.

Comment like crazy so ill hav sth cool to come back to.

Text me or call me if you miss me. Even if you dont

And sorry this is so lame but i gotta go

Have a great fantabulous, tanning, wet, cool, fun, wonderful, exhilirating anything ele you can think of summer! Dont do anything i wouldnt do.

The end.

Luv yall. Bye

Keep UNraveling!

Adventure in The City

Hey, you all. I am extremely thirsty at the moment. Don’t tell me to drink because I have been doing just that for the past two hours straight. Darn. Why am I so thirsty? This is not normal. Whatever. I know I say that alot, so I may as well say it again. Whatever.

Ok, now I’ll continue with my monotonus blog. I will discuss different aspects of my past week, as well as future endeavors and ways to expand my horizons. Afterwards, there will be a three hour meeting, discussing ways to budget different things, and a financial advisor will come and tell us how miserably dismal my future is, and your future as well. After that, it’s a quick coffee break to wake us up for the next six hour lecture describing…

Ah, ok, I’ll stop. I’ll do my best to make it mr interesting. It’s either you listen to me or go attend the flippin’ meeting. Enjoy. Mwah hah hah.

Tuesday comes first. My real Adventure in the the city day. Did you notice I did “the” twice? If not, go attend a lecture to become even more observant. I’m being weird. Sorry. Or not. I don’t have to apologize. Whoa, I love these one sided conversations with my aunt’s computer. Yess!

So I woke up reasonalby early, showered, davendd and had some good food. Then I walked with my uncle to Bloomingdales’ on Fifth Ave. (I think) which can only be described as a glittering, seven floor luxury department store, complete with stereotypical snobby clerks in svelte black head-to-toe Armani, twinkling chandeliers dangling precariously over your head, ready to drop delicately at a moments notice; furnished apartments complete with laid out table settings (without the apartment of course, it was all laid like in IKEA, different rooms, all on one floor) and best of all, a jaw-dropping room more worthy of hosting parties in then my own living room- the bathroom. I kid you not.

Well, I described it to the best of my ability, but you really have to go there and see it yourself. It doesn’t even look so great from the outside. But on the inside, whoa, see the above paragraph. And they have like at least ten cafe’s and I only went on like two of the floors there was so much to see….

So I went to the first floor where one lady tried to sell me Juicy Couture fragrances (it smelled amazing!) and it was only $65; not such a bad price. Then this other lady insisted that I needed some skin product, and that is where the fun began.

She caught me off gaurd, so I was like, “What?” in this idiotic voice. Once she had repeated herself a good two or three times, I realized I could continue acting in the same way- so I did. She thought that’s what I really was like; it was awesome. I did a pretty good job. I can’t describe exactly what I did, but I basically was a dumb bored blonde, only not ditzy, just slow and drawly, I guess. I made her explain stuff to me, asked again and again, like huh I don’t get it, and then said I’ll maybe maybe come back next week with my mom becaues I don’t have my credit card with me and where is the Clinique counter? Basically, to some it up, I was playing a dumb redneck/blond girl with a super-short attention span.

Whatever, it was kind of embarrassing. Then I left, met my uncle and we walked some more. I had to meet my shiur counselor from camp, at 2:30, so I was going to take a cab. My uncle left to shul, so I went to the Apple store, where I used an ipad and struggled to blog off it- I managed though, right??

It was such a cool store I wish I could post my video of it but I can’t, sorry. This thing won’t let me. So then I had to hail cab; something I had never done before. I was petrified, but thank G-d there was one parked at the curb with his lights on which meant he was vacant-my uncle coached me well!- so I went in, gave the old man the address, asked for a receipt per my uncle’s instructions, and settled back in the faux leather seat, watching this dinky little screen they have on the back of the driver’s seat, purely for my entertainment. It was quiet and boring and took forever to get to 23rd street from wherever I was; traffick was not normal as usual. So I finally ventured to ask him a question.
“So, you enjoy sitting in a cab all day, driving people around?” I asked loudly. No answer. “Huh?” I prompted. Nothing. I suddenly realized he probably thought I was talking on the phone, which would be pretty stupid, considering the question, but hey, it gave me an idea.

I pulled out my phone, turned off the ringer, and started a loud, hilarious fake conversation. Funny how I need the phone by my ear to fake it…even if he looked in the rearview, he wouldn’t have been able to tell. But lol, anyways, I screamed out,
“Hey, man, what’s going ON??” and all that nonsense, and I just had fun. This guy is so obviously used to it, he doesn’t even notice, all he cares about is his dumb fare which was ticking away like the crocidile in Peter Pan much to my annoyance. It cost over ten dollars, but thankfully my uncle sponsored it. I tipped the dude, gave him my receipt (I told you you should have attended the meeting! At least you can discreetly walk out of there!) and then I re-entered the crazy world of Manhattan.

Standing alone on the sidewalk. In middle of nowhere. Alone, yet surrounded by hundreds of thousands of people. All alone, just like me. Yet all together. Actually, they all like wlak in their own world but as soon as you ask them a question they are so nice and helpfull…

So I went to my friends building and waited till she came out. We walked for pizza together- it was kinda gross but I had a wonderful time with her, talking and catching up, it was SO cool to finally see her again! Yay, I’m so happy I did!

I took a subway home- it was a bit confusing but I managed; my friend put me on and my uncle had showed me how. I was making some guy crazy- we were on an elevator going up to street level; I was packed in between two sweaty guys and a fat lady, people everywhere, all staring silently up at the little red numbers telling us where we’re headed…

Someone said, I gotta get to Brooklyn. One of the sweaty men said,
“That floor.” I said
“oh, I have to go to Queens”, because my uncle said make sure you’re headed towards Queens or the Bronx. So the man said
“that floor”, pointing out of the elevator. But “that floor” just had trains, and I had already taken the train. So I said,
“No…whatever….” then I saw a sign that said Manhattan, and I was like, “Oh, I gotta go THERE!” so he says,
“THIS floor.” but it still wasn’t hte street, so I shut up and went and lost my way and finally found the street, and walked twenty blocks till I got home.

The end.

The next day was even better…. coming up in the next post!!!

I love you all.
You better comment or I won’t write about…oh, I’m not writing about that anyways. Because my mom reads this. Haha, I’m expecting a phone call from her now, to find out what it is I’m not writing. Hee hee, I’ll let you know. But I have to go. Ive done so much writing today; this and sum article I’m writing for some magazine, ill post it if it turns out good.

Keep UNraveling.

Manhattan

First of all, The Ramble 8 doesn’t even qualify as a ramble. Kill me.

Ok, so I ended off with the fact that…I got on the bus. It’s a mega-bus, those rock, so take advantage of that fact and ride them. End of advertisement.

As I’m gesturing through the window towards my friend who is patiently waiting outside, I feel a hard poke on my shoulder. Turning in alarm, I discover the African American bus driver with his long finger pointing at my backpack, which is illegally lying on the seat next to me.

You see, each person is only allowed one seat. So I moved the backpack, and turned back to my friend, wondering why excuse me couldn’t have sufficed in the above situation, as well as a kind request as opposed to a brusquely pointed finger. Whatever.

So, as I was innocently talking to my friend, my poor shoulder was jammed again by a rude pointer finger. Another black man, with a good pair of jeans, (sorry, but I love the dark dark type!) and he says,
“Is anyone sitting here?”

Well, my backpack was a moment ago, but a different finger sent that out the window, so,
“Nooo?….” I reply uncertainly, not sure what he’s getting at. I should have guessed. An instant later, my answer becomes a lie, as he slides in next to me. I breathe in- I’m sitting next to a guy. A thirty year old African-American, not that I’m racist, but anyways, still a guy.

I need not worry, because he pulls out his iPod, puts away his blackberry and starts to read some crazy fantasy book. I know what it was about because I was discreetly reading over his shoulder. Or not discreetly. Whatever, I don’t think he notices.

The only annoying part is that you know how guys always spread their legs out? So I am like crammed into the corner and I fall asleep. I guess he does too because when I wake up, he is sleeping and his leg is taking up way more space than humanly necessary. Remember how my backpack was illegal? I shoulda sued this guy; according to mega-bus standards, I coulda made millions. On the other hand, I should have just poked him; that seems to be the way to do things there. 🙂

Well, switching to past tense here because I find it easier to fall back into it naturally, I got off the bus in the crazy wonderful city of Manhattan. There’s this vibrant hum and it was a little scary watching thousands of people and taxi’s going by, all without taking notice of everyone else. In fact, they seem to notice so little that they probably don’t notice that no one else does either. Get it?

So I waited a while for my uncle to come, and when he did he had to maneuer around alot to get my suitcases in the car, but somehow he did and we headed to Connecticut.

Now, just thinking about this journey makes me feel a little nauseous, because that’s the way I felt then. Probably due to the hot dogs, or the fact that I had just spent three hours in a bus; I don’t care what it was, but I feel like I’m gonna puke right now.

Sorry, you did not need to know that. Ok, let’s pretend everything is fine. It is, you know. I’m not gonna like puke all over hte kyeboard or anything because then you won’t be able to understand a word I type. Huh?

Ok, it’s late, I’m tired, so just ignore the above.

So I went to Connecticut, making a stop at a gas station on hte way. My great grandparents live there- they just celebrated their 69th anniversary, knein a hora. It was really nice to see them again; I haven’t seen them in about a year, so I socialized to the best of my weak ability.

I quizzed my great-grandmother about her life when she was my age, and it was so so sad to hear all hte crazy things she went through. Listening to her quiet voice, digging up old, worn out memories of nearly a century ago, I was suddenly able to understand a little more what my history book meant by all the “times were hard” cliches. Because cliches or not, times were hard. Very hard.

Basically, I won’t bore you but by the time my great-granmother was in high school, she was out of it, because Jews weren’t allowed to practise religion in Germany. She attended a dinky seminary because there was nohting else to do, and all her friends also practised living on a kibbutz, for the day they would go to Israel. Not all of them went, however. My great-grandmother went to America; she was engaged for three years and left the country to meet my great-grandfather in good ol’ USA.

When I asked her what she did as a hobby, or to hang out, she said that they had no choices back then, they worked to eat and ate to work, and there was no time to have fun. No time to blog, not that they could, but no time to chill, talk on the phone, grab a snack….

Crazy world huh? Question is, is it a crazy world now or was it then?

Well, I had a great talk with her, and my great-grandfather told me to serve G-d with joy, and I think I’ll listen and pass it on, because he is almost 97, kenein a hara, so he would know what he’s talking about.

My great-grandmother made me toast, and that was really sweet of her. I felt much better on the way home, had a ginger-ale, and slept a bit. We actually stopped at the same rest stop again, lol, but no-one recognized me, at least they didn’t say they did.

I know this is so long. Too bad.

So then I got back into the city. We had to get from the far left lane into the far right. While traffick was at a stand still. Imagine that. A million almost fender-benders, two million honks, and much antagonizing pain (for me) later, we made it. That is a small fraction of city driving. It’s go or bust. Literally.

I spent that night on the phone a bit, and then I went to a wonderful kosher Indian restaurant. The food that my uncle kept insisting I eat was amazing, absoultely amazing. LIke, out of this friggin world. Which is pretty friggin in this area, anyways. 🙂

I got home, wrote a bit, blah and went to bed by midnight. The end of a long, tiring, amazing day.

I’m on the phone with my mom now, and we’re discussing my future for next year; Israel, college, graduation, etc. Wish me mucho luck!

Keep UNraveling!

The Ramble 8

Hey guys this is gonna be a real fast one but I’m blogging off an iPad in manhattan in the apple store I gotta go catch a cab to meet my friend so pc out ttyl

Keep UNraveling!

The Ramble 7

Be forewarned, people. This episode in my super cool life includes spicy hot-dogs, creepy cats, and freaky African-Americans. That being said, let’s begin.

I had a great weekend. Shabbos I slept in late, had a wonderful lunch that lasted four hours and was full of fascinating conversation, and good food as well, and then I went to sleep for three hours. After that I took a walk with my esteemed hostess/friend who I miss like friggin crazy right now, legit (That was for her).

After Shabbos we had a long talk that lasted late. Late, babe. Late.

Sunday we got up early. Early, babe, early. We had a Bat Mitzvah to attend, and this was no ordinary Bat Mitzvah. This was my friend’s grandmother’s Bat Mitzvah. Takes talent, I know, but a group of twelve 50 yr olds and up were gathered together to celebrate this momentous occasion, which, unfortunately, they had missed out on previously.

So it was fascinating, especially the singing parts, where the Bat mitzvah Participants sang one phrase of Ashrei and the audience sang the next. Actually, only a couple of old men did, but hey, let’s not zoom in on that too much. The speeches were reasonably boring, as speeches should be, but I’m  not complaining the catered brunch TOTALLY made up for it, and then some!

Every type of food imaginable salads, bagels, kugel, astronomically topped deserts, hey you get the picture. Actually you don’t, because there is none. Oh, just ignore me.

After the filling meal we went to friend’s grandmother’s for an after party, where the theme seemed to follow the way of my week-  food. Lots of it, and then me and my friend went to her house, where I attempted to draw her-it came out good, as usual, but not looking like her, as usual:(- and then we went to her older brother’s baseball game.

This stuff could be pretty cool if her brother got to pitch he can do 75 mph but he’s too old to pitch, so there were a lot of balls. Hey goodlookin’ I can read your mind. I know I can. Hee Hee.

The game was equal to the speeches, with about the same amount of action as sports games should NOT be, but hey whatever. Good game, his team won.

Then we went home- being treated to ices by friend’s other grandmother on the way, and hung around for a while.

Here’s where the hot dogs come in. We had a BBQ to celebrate my friend’s lil bros 8th birthday, and all 64 hot dogs were nice and spicy. After eating two, I raced my friend to see who could finish first, and I won, only because I saw hers was half-gone, so I got competitive.

After the cake was brought out, two other brothers had a hot-dog wolfing contest, and I can’t even remember who won but it was pretty funny to watch. THen all the kids including me had a final contest, (which I won, hee he) and so I completed my fourth or fifth hot dog; I can’t remember.

But the next day I sure could.

I’m getting ahead of myself. So, BBQ ending, and lots of good pics and gr8 vids-I gotta post the hot dog video- my friend graciously packed for me, and we got ready for bed.

Two a.m. we were fast asleep.

Three a.m. I awoke to see, actually, to feel, a dumb stupid creature on my legs. Let me give you a brief prologue.

It was last week, I went to my friends house, I saw they had a cat, I freaked. I never liked non-humans much, but I learned to like dogs one summer, and I still do. Well, based on that past experience, I made a decision to get to like him, and worked towards that goal.

It worked. On Motzei Shabbos, nearly a week later, I was outside at night, when dumb friggin Maverick came up to me to get petted. Or pet. As I was generously scratching his head, this hairball coughing, perfectionist with a tail that’s taller than New York skyscrapers shook his head at me and tried to bite me.

I freaked out the way any normal person might, and moved my hand away. Dumb Maverick proceeded to bat at me with outstretched claws, tearing some seams in my shirt. I ran inside.

Needless to say, I am back at Phase One with cats. The Fear Phase. My friend says he’s moody.

Jump back to three a.m. He’s on my bed, I’m petrified. I tell my friend to send him away. She sleepwalks, but does it. He comes back. I freak again. After lon agonizing moments filled with, “Get him away, get him AWAY!”, she finally locks him in the laundry room. I spend the next hour imagining I hear him chewing his way through.

I woke up at six o’clock because I had to catch a bus from Baltimore to Manhattan. I caught it.

I’m in Manhattan here and now, and you know how supposedly no1 got time in this city? It’s true. I’m about to go out to have Indian food, so I’ll finish off my day’s journey later.

Keep UNraveling!

I don’t want to Blog

I’m not in the mood right now, and I’m waiting for the pizza to heat up. But blogging is all about me and  my life, so I guess I gotta say I really don’t want to blog. I doubt this will pass as a legit blog entry so I’ll bore you with some more things I don’t want to do.

I don’t want to spend my money on anything…I want to spend my parents’.

I don’t want to have to work ever…I want everyone to work for me. But that’s a lie. I lOVE working; I LOOOOVE it!

Oh, congrats to all u par-grads and grads who have partially and fully graduated school. You rock; I can’t believe you all made it through the year, and good luck if you’ve got more to go!

Have a great summer vacation. And don’t work yourself up over stupid summer plans. Just enjoy them, don’t stress.

Speaking of stress, reminds me of oops whatever.

Pfffft. I know I shouldn’t say things like that because then everyone wants to know what I’m referring to well too bad it’s none of your business. It’s my blog and I can say what I want. Of course, you can comment what you want, and I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to my parents and my family and…oh right, thanks to all my commentators. Don’t worry, people will quote you one day when I’m rich and famous.

“Did you hear what E and Goodlookin’ said on HER blog back before she was rich…?” And yes, I purposely left out the rest of you because it’s lame to list everyone, and I can’t make everyone happy, but if you comment alot everyone will quote you too. And i lov you all.

And with that, I should really go eat my pizza.

Notice how I successfully maneuvered this here one sided conversation by switching the subject so skillfully that you probably forgot I can’t tell you what I was gonna say about, “Speaking about stress…”

It wasn’t that juicy anyways, so relax.

I should prob title this the ramble because is sure is a ramble but wahtever.

Keep UNraveling!

The Ramble 6

I hope I’m up to number 6. Whatever. Send out my blog info to everyone who wants it and help me reach 1000 hits by tomorrow. Wake me up when I do. Phhhhhhllllt.

Here’s a list I wanted to write, feel free to add.

OxyMoronic Phrases (No it’s not a chemical!)

“…pretty ugly…”

“…seriously, I’m joking…”

“…a little big…”

“…ha ha, you’re not funny…”

“…I do but I don’t…”

“…a narrower width…”

“…a shorter length…”

“…DON’T YELL!!!!…”

“…you’re not supposed to name call, stupid…”

“…sweet ‘n’ sour…”

These crack me up. add if you know any good ones!

My head is pounding lightly, and not rythmically, like a sucky band player. I want chocolate. I want to exercise; I ended up working out last night but I want to move around again. Roar. I’m listening to Baruch Levine and it’s whiney, even though I normally love him…

I gotta get off this babe. Like, for real. I have to. Im so repetitive. I gotta get off this babe. Like, for real. I have to. Im so repetitive. I gotta get off this babe. Like, for real. I have to. Im so repetitive.

Ok ending that.

My friends little brother looks like a famous celebrity who’s known to play some character named Jacob I think. Is that too funny? I compared pics, and they don’t look alike, only in my head. But he’s the only person I know who looks even remotely like him.

Did I mention my cousin in Isreal became a soldier? He’s 18- I want to see pics. send them to me someone.

I gotta get off this babe.

Bye.

Keep UNraveling!

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