Late Grad
25 May 2012 5 Comments
in Event, Humor, School, Something I did today Tags: God, graduate, graduation, High school, homeschool
And so the time has come again; that awful, awful time, like missing the alarm clock ring, or getting soaked as a road-enraged driver forces his vehicle through a muddy puddle; the time where tears of laughter turn to tears of heartbreak, where the deer waits with bated breath for a sign of the jaguar, and this time is imminent upon us.
Therefore, without further ado, I must declare with most sincere apologies, once again, that this time which I have been referring to is time too long.
So. There you have it. Sorry (as usual) for keeping you waiting for so long. These blog posts take their time coming out.
But, now that we got the hard part out of the way, it’s onto fun, fun, fun!
The first thing I have to say is that I am no longer a victim!
Victim? What is this, one might say, that unravel can be a victim? How so?
Well, when a stranger wishes to know where I’m from and what school I go to, instead of answering “Detroit, Homeschooled“, (and then going into a lengthy description of the latter, replete with handouts and PowerPoint presentations, hence, the victimization) I can smile smugly and say, “Detroit. None.”
Upon hearing this, they may peer closely at me and say, “Do you mean to tell me that you’re….-gasp- homeschooled?”
“Nope.” I will reply. “None means none.”
“Aha! So you are UNschooled!”
“Even better!” I will respond. “I am DE-schooled!” This sentence will throw them off-balance (quite literally) so I will save them and say, “You know how it is, deplaning means getting off of a plane after a flight journey, Deschooling means….leaving school after a fright journey.”
Hope they didn’t have a fright journey
Blank stares.
“Graduation? Get it?”
“Oh.”
Yes. Well, to be very, very, very clear, I am officially (well….unofficially-the ceremony is on Wednesday) a high school GRADUATE! Which, in essence, means I am on summer vacation, I am NO LONGER a senior…and all this happened today!
I had hours of schoolwork and no time and I prayed to G-d which is the only ONLY way it all turned out good in the end! And since I have spent the day reflecting how I slept for four hours last night, I will end this post promptly and say goodnight.
(Just wanted to add, fright journey was purely for the heck of it; high school-even as a homeschooler was REALLY not that bad but if I had to do it over…I wouldn’t.
Keep UNraveling!
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Hi Again
05 Apr 2012 4 Comments
in Humor, Judaism, Ramble, Something I did today Tags: Detroit, matzah factory, Matzo, Passover, Pesach, Purim, Shabbat, Shabbos, WorkKeys
May - Oct 2006 Calendar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I know, it’s been too long, but don’t expect this post to be a lengthy one to make up for the length of time I have kept you waiting. To justify myself and this inexcusable lack of activity on this here blog, I must say that I have been lazy in the past months; to be precise, I have been EXTRAORDINARLIY lazy.
However, I don’t apologize because…well, I’m too lazy to!
So, let me send you some basic updates on the life of the great and wonderful me. (Gosh, it does feel kinda good to be writing again!)
So I haven’t written or drawn in a LONG time (for pleasure/leisure I mean, not for classes) so it feels great to just let loose!
In the past few months, aside from being incredibly lazy about some things, I have been even more busy in other areas. I got accepted to Seminary, and I’m super excited to go!
I keep seeing BLOUSES in every store and am TEMPTED to buy them, but I’m waiting to find out when seminary even starts, and if they have a uniform! So far, they have been pretty quiet about everything.
Life has been insane. I have a crazy awesome HP story to share with you all. But in the meantime, I took the ACT’s, MME’s and WorkKeys (being homeschooled, I didn’t have the opportunity to take them in Junior year) so THAT was a hassle!
Purim was phenom…I dressed up like a pirate 
and drank like one as well…kidding.
Pesach cleaning and cooking has turned my house into a mini matzah factory, minus the matzah, so far, and there’s a quick article to come on the Pesach Baking Horrors…I specialize in those. As I complained to my friend…no one’s gonna want to marry me, because I can’t bake for Pesach! Um, try a bakery?
Pesach away (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Ok, so that being said, I just cleaned out my closet and have filled an ENTIRE LAUNDRY BASKET OVERFULL with clothes and random bits of STUFF that are GOING, GOING, GOING, GONE! So if anyone wants to sort through stuff…I can’t think at the moment what’s going on in there, but there is One Skirt that I am Sad to Say Goodbye To…a BCBG MaxAzria size 4 black skirt, that’s so cute it makes me cry, but unless I start working out again -another thing I have been lazy about in these past 2 months- it’s not happening 
The weather has challenged our sanity time and agian, to the point that I have both fan and heater plugged into my power strip, each growling with tension, waiting to be used.
We had no winter this year, just mild slush and rain, then a crazy 80 degree heat spell and now, FiNALLY, we are following “nature” 
and having crisp, fresh sunny days with a light nip in the air that makes us pull our sweatshirts a wee bit tighter around us.
Oh MY GOSH HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN….
I went on the Ohr Naava Shabbaton again (see pix here: http://ohrnaava.smugmug.com/Events/Purim-week-end-2012/21814124_v7z3X2#!i=1739275714&k=wDtNJFD), and the group and I have brought it back to Detroit with us! We are starting this thing, we don’t have an official name, and it’s all very unofficial, so why I’m posting this online I have no idea, but who cares, so we started with a small group of girls who I’ve been learning Hilchos Tzniyus (modesty laws) with and then we expanded and had speeches and stuff, all occurign every Shabbos and we now have 15-20 girls. We are not looking to expand-yet, but rest assured, this will OVERTAKE the WORLD! WHOOO!!!
I have no idea what I’m saying anymore. I sound like the head of a cult. Uh OH! LOL…kidding!
So this guy is in an interview, and the InterviewER leans forward, cupping his fingers together lightly and, tilting his head to one side and squinting a bit, says in an intense, probing voice: “If you were to describe yourself in one word, one word only, what would it be?”
The InterviewEE leans back, thinking, trying to keep his cool, running his sweaty palms up and down his dressiest pants. After a moment he looks up and, with a question in his voice, he says, “Paul?”
LOL
Keep UNraveling!
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(300) Sixty Second Update
14 Feb 2012 1 Comment
in East Coast, Ramble, Something I did today, Writing
The minute the clock says 11:54 I started writing. I have until 11:55. That won’t take me very far, I bet.
Basically, I miss this blog but not enough to keep updating it cuz I like to write for my friends in Isreal now and they’re quite a handful to deal with and so I give them private info and I can’t really publish all that on this here blog and why would I want to type it all up twice or go back and edit out names and stuff?
So this blog has been neglected and it’s 11:55 but I obviously don’t care let’s get another minute.
I went to NY for Winter BREAK nad it was FREAKING AMAZING and I had a GREAT time and I saw my Brooklyn and Passaic friends and visited my grandparents and accumulated awesome stories, most of which I will not be sharing with you because I’m sharing them with my Isreal people lol
So don’t be all offended I’m sure I’ll keep up with this in the summer…
My nails are painted a blue so dark they’re black…
I need to go to sleep early for work tomorrow…
It’s been over two minutes!
I need to go to Walgreens tomorrow…who goes to Walgreens???
but I can’t find this product anywhere else so Walgreens it is…like, Green Walls?
Which, speaking of, I’m going to be finding out about seminary tomorrow, G-d willing!
So if you’re reading this now, I would appreciate some prayers on the general subject!
And now, without further ado,
Good Night!
Keep UNraveling!
2011 in review
02 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,000 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 50 trips to carry that many people.
Fool-O The Leader
26 Dec 2011 9 Comments
in Humor, Ramble, Writing, Your Say Tags: blog, confused, facebook, Follower, holidays, Humor, subscribe
I just went through my Followers page and apparently I have over 30 followers and I know barely a third of them, which is pretty petrifying if you think of it.
I mean, who are you, O Follower of My Blog? You, yes you! You never comment, and do you actually read my blog? I’m not subscribed to yours; should I be?
Some of you have been subscribed to my blog for over a YEAR and I didn’t even know it!
This makes me confused.
I don’t know why. But then again, that’s probably because I am confused.
It’s holiday time now, and I guess a lot of us are sitting around with family and friends, or maybe, sadly, but more likely, we are sitting with our computers.
We are all checking our Inbox and Walls, and our Dashboards, of course.
Image by TIFFANY DAWN NICHOLSON (TDNphoto) via Flickr
Of course. But how many of us actually read the 37 blogs we are subscribed to?
How many of us actually have the time, patience, or interest to do that?
Not many, I guess.
Many a time have I glanced warily at a blog that landed in my inbox, scanned the title, hesitated, and then firmly hit “Delete”.
Simply because I don’t have the time, patience or interest.
It’s not personal; I subscribed because I enjoyed one or two posts (or maybe I OD’d on your entire blog and enjoyed all of it!) but it’s been a while since then and I don’t remember why I liked it, what you wrote about, or even the fact that I subscribed!
This leads me to a sad truth; most of my subscribers are probably the same way!
I guess I am no longer confused, or petrified, because all of you 30-something Followers are not letting my words penetrate further than your inbox!
While this brings about a feeling of relief, it’s also a bit of a let-down, because if it isn’t you reading this, who is it?
Well, whoever you are, I will probably never know, and as my bedtime has fast approached, hovered, and passed, I must bid you a good night and a Happy Holidays!
Thanks for reading!
Keep UNraveling!
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This! Is! Funny!
14 Dec 2011 7 Comments
in Humor, Ramble, Something I did today, Writing Tags: cycle, Drinking water, hiccup, pizza, riddle, torture
Hiccups, Coughs and Torture All in One
“Whatever you say goes back to you” is a stupid, childish phrase that I hate to repeat, yet I can’t think of a more fitting sentance to describe what just happened to me moments ago.
I was eating supper with my brothers (pizza, actually!) and we were discussing torture methods, such as tying up a guys arms, legs and mouth and passing his favorite hot food under his nose for three seconds, then leaving for 24 hours, before repeating the process.
Somehow, our conversation switched to riddles and I repeated this one I heard a few weeks ago:
“Bob is walking through the desert, when suddenly he needs a drink. He walks into the nearest bar, and asks for a drink of water. The bartender pulls out a gun, holds it up, and scares Bob. Bob says thanks, and leaves” Obvious question; what is going on here?
Well, my brothers tried guessing various things; water gun, what’s a bar doing in the desert, etc, etc, but to no avail. Meanwhile, I filled my mother in on my day, crazy application story, how I tried to buy a phone off of craigslist from some druggie, you know, the usual.
Suddenly, I coughed on my water (can’t remember why) splurted it out over my pizza, backwashed it into my cup, and caught the remaining leaks in my hand. Awkward, and I don’t think I’ve done that since I was three.
As I was alternating coughing and laughing, I said, “OH, NO! I hope I don’t get the hiccups!” You see, when I cough a lot, I get the hic-hiccups.
My body did not fail me this time. DANG! My brothers cracked up, because of course, “I hope I don’t hic!…” sounds pretty funny. So there I was hiccuping for all I was worth, and it’s a lot, let me tell you that, when I suddenly thought of the riddle.
“That’s the answer, by the way!” I said, “Bob has the hiccups. He needs a drink- to stop the hiccups, and the bartender scares them out of him by holding up a gun”
We all cracked up, because who says a hiccup riddle and gets the hiccups? We then discussed hiccup-removal methods, and if water, thinking of giraffes, or being scared works. My 13 year old brother gave a little “ROAR” but I just raised my eyebrows. And made a cute little “hic!”
Then I went to tell my mom the riddle’s answer (my misfortunate plight) and my little brother kept bugging me until I turned and barked/hiccuped, “WHAT?”
“I wanna show you something” he said. It immediatly entered my mind that 13 year old brother was hiding behind the staircase, ready to jump at me and scare the hiccups out of me, but I followed, still talking to my mother.
Just as I took a breath in to cough, my mother moved away from where she was standing and my brother jumped out from the bathroom entance- NOT where I had been expecting him to come from at ALL- and he yelled
“RAHHHHHH!” I screamed almost as loud as him, mid-cough, so it sounded worse, and LITERALLY jumped in the air. After I had finished gasping and laughing…I realized my hiccups were gone. GONE! It works! He scared the “hic” outta me!
Though he didn’t hold me up with a gun, well, my brother jumping out of the wall is nearly as scary, and so, what I had spoken about before all came straight back to me.
So, my dear children, watch what you say…but don’t come running to me if you’ve been discussing Mercedes and iPhones and they haven’t appeared. I’ll just tie you up and wave some pizza under your nose…heh heh heh…
Anyways, I know I’ve been neglecting you, bloggie, but that’s because I started a new one, just between me and some friends…but I haven’t been keeping that one going either! Oh, well…
Keep UNraveling!
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The Water Cycle
30 Nov 2011 4 Comments
There’s no feeling like stomping through a rain puddle in rain boots, only to remember that just because they’re called rain boots, does not mean they are waterproof.
Enter my soaking wet feet.
I went to the mall on Sunday with a girl I know. It rained and we parked far enough away for me to understand the true meaing of “wet”. It rained on Monday, and it rained today as well.
Enter the blessed land of Michigan.
There’s something interesting I’ve been thinking of lately.
It’s kind of on the theme of hypocrites.
My friends and I all have problems, you see. But each one of us calls the other and sobs hysterically, acting as though we are the only ones with such difficulty.
The “listening ear” friend nods wisely and hten dispenses sage advice, based on her own past experiences.
Two days later, she’s making the phone call, crying her eyes fit to beat the weather.
I had this very situation recently…actually, more than once.
My friend was going through a little challenge, adn I looked into my Chronicle of All Things Challenging and passed on some advice that had been given to me.
But now I’m back in her situation, MY original situation, and she’s giving me the same advice I gave her- the stuff I heard on my last round of this!
It’s really interesting, is what I’m saying.
To listen with my jaw hanging open as she consoles me and calmly tells me every single dratted thing I told her only last week.
Hypocritical and weird.
You never can judge a friend until you’re in her shoes, and once you’re in her shoes, she’s gonna be the one who wants to judge you. 
Remember that! And don’t forget to polish your umbrella!
Keep UNraveling!
YOUR THOUGHTS ON MY THOUGHTS